A year has passed since I wrote this post (you might want to go ahead and read that if you haven't yet), where I discussed my battle with depression and gave to it the name "It." Here is where I am and where "It" is now...
Depression, or "It," as I call it, is still here, still my worse half, still a thorn in my side. However, most -- most of the time -- I can experience my day and really and truly say, "I'm OK." On other days, when It is trying hard to get the best of me, I have to be adamant and say, "I'M OK, GOSH-DARNIT!" And then there are those occasional days when It has been relentless, when It has truly seeped into my core, when It won't stand down, and I have to concede, "No. I'm definitely not OK today."
All of those things are perfectly normal, whether one has It or not. It's just that the "definitely not OK" days are tougher for those of us who have to withstand It on a daily basis. Even on the good days, smiling is an effort that forces me to confront and manipulate every muscle in my face.
Still, I press on. As I mentioned in my post a year ago, I continue to choose not to take any prescription medicine for depression or anxiety. I had some success taking Sam-e and 5-htp at different times. However, I now choose to take a saffron supplement. Saffron -- who knew? It is marketed as an appetite suppressant, but in truth, I can't tell a difference in how much I eat (bummer). Though I've only been taking it for a few weeks, I can tell that my moods are much more amiable. I wake up a little less dependent on my cup of coffee to feel like a human being, although I still drink it every morning. (You didn't think I'd give up coffee, did you? As if.) I can carry through my day with much less anxiety and moodiness than before. My outlook is generally more pleasant, and I feel that I'm able to accomplish more of my goals, both long- and short-term.
In addition to taking saffron, I have tried various approaches for depression management over the last months...
* Journaling is particularly useful, and it couldn't be easier. I find it comforting at the end of the day to simply jot down a line or two about my day, focusing especially on the good parts. It hasn't taken long to amass a catalog of the good things going on in my life, and it is revitalizing to flip back through those pages, particularly when I've had a downer of a day.
* The cleaner I eat, the better I feel. I tried the "Eat To Live" diet for a time, and honestly, (I am having a revelation as I type this) I don't know why I quit! I felt FABULOUS -- better than I had in years. The weight loss was just a fringe benefit. My book must be around here somewhere...
* I take walks as often as I can. Walking is a great way to clear my head and shake out whatever stress is weighing on me. As with eating clean, the physical benefits are just gravy. Plus, I find that if my motivation for exercise is for mental clarity more than for physical perks, I'm more likely to make the time to do it.
Managing depression is doable if you make the choice -- every single day -- to be proactive about it, and that goes for people who take prescription drugs as well as for people like me who steer clear of them. Taking care of our whole selves -- mind, body, and spirit -- is the key.
